Someone once asked me why I write, especially about why I choose to write about my own life and the people in it. Well, the answer is simple. I don’t just write for the fun of it or because writing is my passion. I write because it gives me an inspiration to find myself through the essence of what I write about and the feelings I try to portray. In this case, it is simply my own life. Everyone is inspired somehow by people or things. And when they make their inspiration a reality, it results in success. Every success story doesn’t just come with fables of hard work. But it dwells on something much greater and that is called inspiration. Success and inspiration are two sides of the same coin and one cannot succeed without inspiration. My inspiration seemed to elude me for all these years, until I realized that I was living with it all along and that is the only reason I’m writing this. For me, this is a form of success too. The women in my life- they form a major proportion of the source of inspiration to me. And if I am what I am today, it is because of all the valuable lessons they taught me and made me who I am now. That is the beginning of success in my life and the only way I can ever pay a tribute to them is by writing about them.
As they say, “Behind every successful man there is a woman”. But how many of us have stopped to look into a woman’s success? Success, for a woman, doesn’t just mean achieving a covetable social status or getting a lucrative job or becoming a celebrity. For her, success means something much more, unfathomable yet simple and transparent. For a woman, success means to be born into a family of loving parents who raise her showing no inequality of gender, educate her, give her freedom to pursue her dreams, and marry her off into safe hands, to be a devoted wife and daughter-in-law, to be a mother showering selfless love unto her children, to give all of herself to the happiness and welfare of her family and at the same time strive hard towards building a bright and prospective career and hence, contributing towards the betterment of the family and the nation.
For a woman to achieve this success, it is a woman who is behind her. By saying so, I am not denying the role of a man in her life but what a woman learns, as a girl, the virtues and values that she imbibes and holds onto and passes on to her future generations and this process starts with her mother, who apparently is another woman. And the elixir of her success is a culmination of all the small lessons of life she learns as a child. I learnt mine too, from not just one, but many of them.
My mother, ‘amma’ as I fondly call her, is the most spectacular inspiration I have ever had. If it wasn’t for her outstretched arms and her never-fading smile and her words of encouragement 20 years ago, I’d have never learnt to walk! I bet the first word I spoke as a baby was “Amma”. Since the day she knew she had me inside her, she’s been determined to be everything to me. I learnt to smile only by looking at her beautiful face. I learnt what love was from her warm caress and I learnt to go to school with a cheerful face, from her assurance that at the end of the day we’d be in each other’s arms cuddling and playing. I knew what it was to work hard after seeing her toil each day just to bring a smile on my face and help dad support the family. In fact, amma taught me to care for my fellow human beings as well and to help the other person without expecting anything in return. She made me realize the importance of sharing and empathizing with people. But she also taught me to stay away from people I could not trust and those that were not worthy of my time or love. She has inspired me to safe-guard my ethics and dignity no matter what and to never give up, ever. Her endless efforts and selfless love have inspired me and I have carried all the small but priceless lessons she taught, along with me. I am still carrying them and will continue to do so.
Amma’s sisters have also been of a colossal significance in my life. Her first sister, previously a teacher and now the Senior Executive Officer at a leading private company, is not just my aunt. She’s one of my good friends with whom I can talk almost anything! She has taught me the importance of rising up to the occasion, and being bold and courageous in this world of what-not-happens. It’s amazing how she carries herself and inspires me to look as elegant as possible. From baking cakes to garnishing delicacies and social etiquettes, she’s been guiding me all along. My first airplane trip was with her and she is the one who instilled in me a desire for accessories! In fact, most of my accessories and clothes are gifts from her! She inspires me to live to the fullest every minute possible and to stay health –conscious (which I obviously don’t seem to follow effectively). She is one soul who is still young at heart even though she’s in her middle forties and this attribute of hers continues to inspire me that age can never be a factor in stopping you from achieving your dreams.
Amma’s second sister is way different from the first but is in no way different when it comes to showering me with love. When amma was away pursuing her higher studies in Chennai, and I was at my grandmother’s place in Kerala, it was this aunt who sacrificed all her time and her career just to take care of me, for almost three years. She never let me feel far from amma, as she took care of me like her own child. She was barely 22 back then, but showed the maturity of someone much beyond her age. For someone like her at that time, not knowing what it was to be a mother, there she was holding me tight and feeding me like my own amma, and rocking me to sleep in her arms. It hurts me to say that it is because of me that my aunt never got to finish her master’s degree. But she never regrets it even now! When I asked her about it, the only reply she gave me was,” Taking care of you was one of the best times of my life and I never regretted it nor will I ever”. I was awestruck at the passion in her and the way she teaches her kids various things ranging from how to open and close an elevator door without getting hurt, to apologizing for mistakes, to being honest. I wondered if I’d ever have the patience to teach my kids all these and have the perseverance to correct them. Well, her inspiration was more than enough to tell me that it doesn’t matter who or what you are, but when motherhood sets in, you’ll gradually become what my amma and she are today- quintessential versions of motherhood.
Talking about my amma’s mother, “aachi”, I have very less to say. The only thing she does is to love, love and love all her children and grandchildren, and pray for our happiness and long life. I hope I could become a grandmother myself, like her, someday.
I have a few female friends who have altered my life, drastically. Some for the better and some for the worse. And about the worse, I have been inspired as to how not to treat a friend and how not to bring disgrace to friendship. About the better, I have had many friends who have helped me and inspired me all along. Starting from my childhood best friend, whose name I do not wish to mention, has taught me to be a true friend and dedicate oneself in friendship. We were best friends till class 10 and till then there has not been a single day that she has not stood by me, be it in my success or failures. She inspired me to love a friend from the heart. I understood that, the day I was injured with three stitches on my forehead and was drowning in pain, when she came to visit me after school, with a KitKat chocolate for me. She continued to do so despite her tiresome schedule and the hectic school work till I recovered. She was always there by my side, talking to me and making me laugh whenever I fell sick. And it hurts me even now to think that I lost such a friend at a spur of a moment all because of my rotten ego. Now we are merely acquaintances and both of us have moved on and have our own lives to worry about, but the emptiness inside me still lags behind. She inspired me to be a true friend since then, and forsake ego and other negativities in any form of a sincere relationship.
There was a “didi” who made my life worthwhile when I was in class 9. She was senior to me by three years and it was purely her inspiration that made me emerge as one of the toppers in my class 10 board exams. It redefined my life in a whole new angle and it was because of her that I even changed my handwriting to make it look a bit more decent. She’s been an icon of excellence to me and an example for how hard work can work wonders!
Being a single child can be tough at times. We both knew it so well that we decided to be sisters! Yes, she was my senior at college and lived a few blocks away from my place. We bonded so well that in no time we ended up being sisters not born together but live a life together even though we both don’t literally live together! She’s everything a friend can be! A mentor, guide, protector, sister… name it and she’ll be that. Engineering would have been a nightmare if my “akka” didn’t volunteer to take me under her wings and inspire me everyday to set a target and achieve it. If I like biomedical even a bit, it’s because of her inspiration. Her down-to-earth attitude taught me the importance of being humble even if you rule this world. It was her inspiration that brought me out of the toughest time of my life and helped me move on with life. And every time I look at the cute painting she made for me, I hear a voice telling me that I’m not alone and an invisible bond connects us no matter how far we are.
Then there were few teachers who helped me struggle out of my shell and face the real world. They helped me build self-confidence and taught me to fight for what is right and to never lose my identity. Two of them were my math teachers in class 10. One of them was my geography teacher, who I still adore for her dexterity at drawing the world map on our blackboard without even taking a look at the textbook! Then there was my physics and class teacher in classes 11 and 12. She was more like a mentor to me and I still look upto her. One can never tell her age by looking at her! Old by years, but young at heart, she loves to travel across the world and still keeps inspiring me and invoking the travelers’ spirit in me. She’s one of the reasons why I want to make it to Italy for my honeymoon! All of them have instilled in me, an image of a perfect teacher posing such unmatched dedication to their profession. It was purely their support and encouragement that inspired me to bring out the creativity and the leadership qualities in me. I’d fail in my duties if I do not mention my English teacher in class 9 who was the only one who appreciated what I wrote back then and kept encouraging me to write more and more. If it wasn’t for her help and support I would have overcome my stage fear and wouldn’t have had an opportunity to explore myself through my writing.
There is also a friend, who is a teacher by profession and unfortunately, I had never been in her class. Her inspiration led me to write poetry and pour out my feelings in ink, and I have this friend, a budding dentist, who lives by what she believes in. She is an inspiration that reminds me how important it is to hold onto to your charm and innocence that most young girls tend to lose as they grow older. If I could define someone pretty, sweet and lively, it would be her. She inspires me to be myself and to believe in myself and my destiny. It’s her innocence and the baby-like smile that makes me feel so good about being her friend, and I call her my little “princess”.
Setting goals and sticking onto them and working hard to achieve them were taught to me by a friend at college. She’s my classmate, from up the land of the Hugli River. Being honest and dedicated to your loved ones is what she taught me. Her incessant support and her pure heart inspire me almost everyday. The flower that I named, ‘sunshine’ and the teddy bear named, ‘magic’ were her most priceless gifts to me and they are more than enough to remind me that no matter what happens, life has to go on and it’ll all be easy if I just moved on with a big smile, and that however far apart we are and whatever happens between us, we’ll always be good friends! (Touchwood!)
There are many more women who have inspired me and continue to do so and even if I had a lifetime to write about all of them, I probably would never finish writing. Someday, I too dream of being the perfect friend, aunt, mentor, grandmother and most of all, the perfect mother. And I for sure know that my attempts at trying to fulfill my dreams and being successful will not fail because I am inspired by all of you- the most special women of my life.
